Beams: rays of light; to radiate light; to shine; to smile expansively; to emit; to transmit;
the bar of a
balance; to support/brace against stress; on the right track.

Digital Photography and Art by DiDi Hendley. Now...Words.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Epiphanies by the Score

In February 2010, I splurged and bought myself a CD (download, actually). This may seem small to most, but it's been a long time since I've bought music. With only a part-time job and a side business that seems to be costing me more than it makes, there's just no budget for luxuries like music. I listened to this music almost every night, and usually every morning. Often during the day as well--I was hooked on this "Li'l Bird." The most significant thing about this splurge, was that it brought to me epiphanies...and dreams.

One such epiphany is that growing up, our home was filled with music. My older sister always had the radio on. My folks sang in the church choir, sang duets, trios and quartets with other church members. Growing up, I was in chorus for four years. I have a rather old, but reasonably extensive music collection. I know that music has been a part of my life. In my teen years, Dad sang with a gospel group and later brother joined in on the bass guitar, even the Jew's harp and mandolin.  Later in life, I found a certain romance with the karaoke thing. Bought a CDG player and have a large collection of the CDGs.

I remembered buying my last car--I didn't haggle with the dealer. I simply said-either there's a CD player installed in the trunk, or there's no deal. Easiest deal the guy probably made (of course after he tried to haggle...). I drove off with the cd player in the trunk without paying anything extra for it. That was probably eight years ago now...maybe nine. Time sure flies. About 2-1/2 years ago, the player stopped working. I spent a total sum of maybe 30 minutes trying to figure out why. The same CDs lived in the magazine for all that time too. I've pulled out the CDGs so few times I could probably count them on one hand. There was just no music in me...

In Excuses Begone, Wayne Dyer said, "Don't die with your music in you." Sure-on the surface I know what this means. But really...deep down...I didn't get it. What's "my music?"

So for about six weeks, I had a lot of restless nights, endless memories revisiting my mind, and at times, grueling thoughts that left me more frustrated to resolve the puzzle than when all this started.

Clearly this music brought about metamorphosis.

During these weeks...answers began to appear. The CD player in the battery was replaced years ago. With it went the channel that transmitted the music. I now have DIFFERENT CDs in that magazine and they've even been changed a few times in the past 6 weeks. I replaced the sad worn-out MP3 player that only worked with a computer because the sound button didn't work with a new one. It's loaded with ALL my favorite songs from almost all my CD collection. I listen to it every day and feel OH so INSPIRED.

Now I'm a woman of faith. I believe that long ago God said "write" and I haven't listened. I've listened...I've just procrastinated. There's always something that has to be done--something that is "more important." Suddenly nothing else seems more important. There's no more time, but I'm starting to rethink priorities. This Blog, for instance, is my commitment to stop procrastinating. I can't promise that I'll do this every day. I can't promise that I'll post every story much less in its entirety.

This is my promise to write. 
I thought that starting with some old "stuff" might be good. I hope it shows how much my mind has opened over the past couple decades. I won't say that number EXACTLY...just lotsa time. lol

THE LION has resurfaced during the epiphany phase and has been "rewritten." It's so much better, so much more. It was inspired by a man originally. At the time, I didn't know that. It wasn't an intentional writing. I was drying my hair getting ready for work and all of a sudden these thoughts rushed into my head. Call it muse, or divine intervention...I didn't actually sit down and compose this thing. It was literally dumped into my brain. As one who isn't now nor has ever been a morning goal that morning was just to not be late. So while drying my hair frantically and with purpose...this story falls into my head and I say "not now...I don't have the time..." HA yeah right. It didn't stop...kept on coming. I finally HAD to stop, find pen and paper and write...just to make it stop. Took all of two minutes. Seriously...2 minutes.

I'm anxious and hope to get comments on the before and after. The before goes up quickly. I haven't "written" much after "stuff" and unfortunately I need to put in some hours that pay the bills, so I will have to procrastinate that just a wee bit... Hopefully it will be up before anybody even discovers this blog. If not, please come back ... and COMMENT. :) thanks for sharing.

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