Beams: rays of light; to radiate light; to shine; to smile expansively; to emit; to transmit;
the bar of a
balance; to support/brace against stress; on the right track.

Digital Photography and Art by DiDi Hendley. Now...Words.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Hub City Writers Project - Writing in Place 2010

Link to Hub City Writers Project - Writing in Place 2010
Class assignment-Day 2
Write a paragraph to a page with this as the first sentence:
“My Mother broke every dish in the house.“

My Mother broke every dish in the house. There was no discernment of linoleum underneath the shattered glass and porcelain. As I stepped carefully into the kitchen, the shock washed through my core. Had I not known of the problem, I would have believed a tornado blew through the room. But the roof was intact...the episode was contained. My Father sat in the doorway to the dining room, desperately trying to sweep the pieces into the hide the pain. He had not yet seen me enter the room.

“Dad, I'll get that...” I tried to distract him, to ease his pain. With no acknowledgement, I repeated, “DAD, let me...” His pained expression told me what he could not.
“I didn't hear you come in,” he said softly. Struggling to stand, the determination of his effort was apparent. I looked around for something to clear a pathway through the chards, something to help me reach comfort him. I grabbed an old mop that was hidden in the corner of the washroom. By the time I returned to push the shattered pieces aside, he had managed to pull himself to his feet. Instinctively I put my arms around his bent shoulders. When had he shrunk so? Why had I not noticed this before?

“Dad, let's go sit down for a bit. This mess will wait.”

Reluctantly, he leaned the broom against the door and walked into the den. Mom sat in her chair, chin against her chest as she slept. Dad watched her as we sat on the sofa. After a long while, he turned to me. “She said she didn't want anybody else's dishes in her house. I'm sorry, I know that your Grandmother's china was in the will for you. Mom really wanted you to have it.”
Dad lowered his head as the sorrow became overwhelming.

Looking painfully into my eyes, Dad added, “I think it's time. I've tried to avoid it, you know. Will you call....that place?” The tears that appeared in his eyes shattered my heart like the chards on the kitchen floor.

“Sure Dad, I'll take care of it. I'll take care of all of it.” I took his hand as we both turned to face Mom, soundly sleeping and unaware.

Unaware that she would never again have an afternoon nap in her recliner.

Never again sleep in the bed she shared with Dad for over sixty years.

Never again to live with the only man she'd ever loved.

# # #

This assignment wasn't read and didn't get a critique. Comment...if you'd like!

Monday, July 26, 2010

Dawn Thought 7/26/10

"Clarity destroys illusions."

I'm just sayin'...

Friday, July 23, 2010

Everyday Intensity: Day 11: Our Precious Imagination

I'm catching's been intense lately (ha!). I agree with everything everyone has said in the comments for the day so far...this is definitely my favorite post as well (so far, anyway).

It would seem that among those participating in this project, I've seen evidence that some are or maybe were teachers. I think that people who are archetypally "teachers" can relate especially to such creative intensity. I believe it takes someone who can digest information and represent it with some flair, as well as comprehension, to engage learners.

My first "teaching" experience was age 7, when I helped a fellow classmate learn to read. I made a career of teaching people to use computers as an adult. I was always astounded when people would comment on my patience and ability to relay the information in ways they had never understood. I always loved seeing the 'lightbulbs' when people would understand. It didn't take long to realize that people learned by different means-some visually, some auditory, some just by doing. I believe the secret was to reach people how THEY needed to be reached, not how I wanted to teach them. I don't teach much these days, at least not in a formal manner. Somedays I miss it. But maybe they are just dark days when I really could use a lightbulb. :)

In Day 11 of the July Intensity Project, Lisa mentioned Michael Piechowski's work on Dabrowski’s theories “Mellow Out” They Say: If I Only Could: Intensities and Sensitivities of the Young and Bright," with exerpts of imagination manifestation that include "need for novelty and variety."

If I had only understood, say 30 years ago, that intensity (aka gifted, as you've pointed out to me-but thats never a term I would have deem myself worthy) was behind the need for novelty and variety--all those career experiences in my 20s would've made MUCH more sense! Maybe I wouldn't have been so hard on myself for the adventure!

Imaginary companions and dramatization, these have most recently become an obvious need to me. They were a part of my childhood, called upon when no one else was around for entertainment. I only this year have been greatly rewarded by allowing myself to "go there," dreaming, imagining, and writing about those other worlds, as well as the interesting (at least to me) people who live more intriguing lives, with more engaging things to say and do. I appreciate this more than I could have ever imagined possible. Every day I get to write, is a day I experience joy.

I only hope that someday there will be even more reward for those adventures--that I might be allowed to live THERE more often, and remove myself from this existence that suffers the bills, the schedules, the shopping (which I hate), the car repairs (or need thereof), the people who will never "get" me, etc.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Hey, Mr. Kane..

I've almost finished the story of Whirlwind Love:

Libby's life of sacrifice and responsibility changes when fates' whirlwind takes her places she never dreamed, directly into the arms of the love of her life. Joe's built walls with words and actions, never realizing the darkness that he holds within, until the light of her love breaks through.
Story By DiDi Hendley

After I bought the Christian Kane London (Acoustic! Love that!) CD from in mid-February, I began to have epiphanies. I think I explained some of those somewhere in this blog.

Since that time, I've found tremendous JOY from writing...ever since, my eyes have been opened to possibilities I never dreamed of and I'd like to share this with the world!

1. Love your music. The new EP is great. 2. The story I've written is sorely missing from your repertoire. I recently purchased many DVDs from Amazon that list you in credits. Too many were "don't blink or you'll miss him" kinda movies. Your fans need a movie they can sink their teeth into...where you give 'em all you've got...acting, singing...well the romance is nice too. :)

Whirlwind Love (website forthcoming) is about a girl who finds the love of her life, a musician and actor who's reaching a point in life when he wonders if he's on the right path. I'd love to see this as a movie...currently it's a romantic drama, probably even PG rated...(i.e., this isn't fanfiction). I can't imagine anybody else as Joe King. Hey, Christian, I'd love to send you a link via DM!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Day 7 July Intensity Project: The Euphoric Rush of Everyday Life

I agree with Julia about Newport's quote. I haven't experienced joy to anywhere near the degree I have since I started writing this year--allowing my mind he amok; dialogue with invented nemesis (or heroes, for that matter); leap to daydreams of imaginary futures that may or may not work out, depending on MY whim.

I've existed in THAT world--the planned/productive (expected, boring, left-brained) existence, and the sense of accomplishment doesn't compare to now. Giving myself permission to exist in THIS glorious world makes the previous existence pale and futile in comparison. I acknowledge that it was necessary to bring me to this place, but I don't ever want to go back.

As far as accomplished...that remains to be seen. I'll always hope and have faith that I will someday be--based on Divine inspiration, as well as that very faith and hope that get me through the days of tedious politics, people, war, suffering, bills and to-do lists. The inspiration that keeps me writing and brings me joy. I do this for me...what comes from be it. Acceptance and approval are always nice things, but they aren't necessary. If writing were to provide a keep me away from existing in the aforementioned THAT world...then color me a happy girl.

Monday, July 5, 2010

July Intensity Project Day 5-E. Paul Torrance’s Creative Manifesto

"...but I now realize that I was writing [guidelines for his Manifesto to help children/adults live more creatively] for myself” (The Manifesto: A Guide To Developing a Creative Career, p. 93)

How wonderful! I find that often research for some obscure topic will resonate some truth to me...which I often is a fundamental truth that I need to discover. I believe we are guided to such topics to show us truths that need enlightenment (we just didn't know it yet!)
E. Paul Torrance’s Manifesto

  • Don’t be afraid to fall in love with something and pursue it with intensity.
  • Know, understand, take pride in, practice, develop, exploit, and enjoy your greatest strengths.
  • Learn to free yourself from the expectations of others and walk away from the games they impose on you. Free yourself to play your own game.
  • Find a great teacher or mentor who will help you.
  • Don’t waste energy trying to be well-rounded.
  • Do what you love and can do well.
  • Learn the skills of interdependence.
I really love Day Five's topic of the July Intensity Project, Lisa. The first declaration resonated with me! (Although, in all honesty, they all have great impact.)

I believe too often the "norm" regards intensity as a negative; and those of us who are predisposed to be intense and passionate are expected to conform to their way of thinking. I love that this project celebrates and encourages our passion.

Too many years have been wasted trying to understand what I wanted to "be" when I grew 47, I now know that if I don't create, I am not happy. I've found such contentment and joy in the past months just living by that first not being afraid to fall in love with something and pursuing it with intensity. Acceptance and appreciation are great things, but they aren't required if you are happy with your own personal pursuits. That also fits into the third declaration, freeing yourself from the expectations of others.

I don't have the ability to twitter via phone...I use my pc. I believe that Twitter has provided me with the great teacher/mentor by establishing relationships with folks such as yourself, Lisa, and the others who have inspired, encouraged and enlightened me with their perspectives, stories and information. I never would have thought of using this service as such...but have truly relished this unexpected delight.

Do what you love and can do well...that is an every-day, practiced art form, IMHO. "Well" is so relative, it also could be a conflict if one expects outside sources to define what is "well-done." I believe "Do what you love and love what you do," might be preferable to me, it removes any connotation that seeks approval.

Loved today's assignment. Thanks for sharing all this wonderful information and challenging us to consider, share and create.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

July Intensity Project Day 3-Got Personality

Unfortunately my Day 2 Project comment on the JIP blog is history, and as I don't intend to try to recreate it I shall move forward without it's reflection. Not that I really need it.

I'm having difficulty with the Day 3 assignment, in that there is an inference of incompletion--I don't feel incomplete. As the first question asks "What is missing?" --  I can't define what isn't there if I don't miss it. A paradox?

In defining the "weird" from Day 2 -- I believe I addressed other people's perspective of my "weirdness" (which isn't a word I really appreciate, probably based on history more than definition) in the lost notes. Many years of feeling "less than" have been overcome. My goal and focus is on discovery of self, on developing and appreciating creativity within, and of moving forward--not reflecting on the past. Been there...done that...moved on.

"What do I want to take away?" Again, for me, it's another been there, done that, moved on. I didn't like the baggage that was left behind from other people's expectations and, sometimes, cruel labels. I was more than happy to finally just walk away and leave that baggage somewhere in the street. I don't look back for it: I don't need to reclaim it.

"Who do I want to be?Me. In whatever shape, capacity, imagination, or definition that exists at whatever moment in time. I don't need to be anybody else. My skin may be misshapen from years of trying to wear other people's perspectives, but it's me now...void of those opinions. I completely accept it as it is. What's mine is mine...even if its leftovers. Those are the morsels in life that  feed us, sustain us, and keep us moving forward to discover our true self--an ever-evolving soul. Many folks just don't recognize that. (BTW, can you tell I'm hungry? lol)

As to "What do I want to add to myself"...I'm doing that. I'm creating and rediscovering words while I continue to create and search for images--within and out. I'm focusing on the mental images in my consciousness and taking the time to give them life, at least through words. For me personally, it makes me happy, brings me JOY. That's not a word that has often been used in my adult life, but it's certainly a word I've prayed for. If anyone decides it's "weird" -- they don't have to participate, and I'm fine with that. I believe that perspective is a benefit of wisdom attained through years. Who cares what somebody else thinks of I'm who I am...take me or leave me -- either way I continue my journey.

The final question, dealing with seeing myself as normal...well...again, I can't relate. I'm me. I don't need definition: normal, weird, or any other such adjective. I'm just me. I celebrate that I've come to terms with all of the above, I don't need approval or acceptance. I've grown to appreciate my own company and am MUCH happier by that acceptance of self.

I, too, appreciated Kristi's comments from Day 2. I, too, would rather hold up in my room or recliner, laptop engaged, whether it's with words or images: I'd much rather be doing THIS than the parties and socials, too. When I'm otherwise obligated to participate in such activities, my mind is thinking about the laptop...and the stories...and the images...THAT is what makes me happy. I love it if someone else decides something I produce or create makes them happy too. But if not...that's OK. I hope they find something that brings them joy, too!

Thursday, July 1, 2010

The July Intensity Project

The July Intensity Project:
...writing down anything positive about your personality as it is now and the choices you make and the person you are.

I am...
  • committed to honoring my creative self;
  • committed to acknowledging my contribution and effort to my gifts and effort;
  • accepting abundance, beauty and joy from within and of the world;
  • choosing to distribute the light within at every opportunity without regard to where if falls--be it close or far. 
  • making my goal to honor that light and let it shine

Props to @Doublelattemama  and @DailyIntensity Thanks for your inspiration!