Thursday, April 29, 2010
Been a long day and now it's time to play.
Beer:thirty and I start talkin' dirty.
You're headin' me to the door, faster than before.
Beer:forty-five and I'm glad its such a short drive.
There's a gleam in your eye--how lucky am I?
It's just five til--Baby, we got time for a cold one still?
Reckon they see what we see? Lucky me.
Beer:ten and we're all alone again.
You're the best part of my day, even if I forget to say.
Beer:eleven and that music sounds like heaven.
Now just come on over and hum a little closer.
Beer:twenty-two and I'm close enough to you
to hear your heart beatin' -- now don't you think that's cheatin!
It's about beer:thirty and you're the one talkin' dirty!
With every little touch-maybe we're talkin' way too much.
Beer:forty-five, come on-let's take the dive.
Let's forget about the time, cause now you're all mine.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
The Lion (Redux)
The sun shown brightly on the beautiful spring day. The flowers beckoned me, “join us!” Their multitude of colors swayed with the gentle breeze across the field. They seemed to say, “Walk this way...” as they exuded their spring glory with an open embrace. As I immersed myself in this ocean of color, the butterflies welcomed me into their dance of pure delight. They visited flower-to-flower to drink themselves into a dizzying frenzy. They shared their love along the way.
The field was bordered by the forest. This unknown place of mystery I dared not venture. This fear of the darkness has kept me in the light: but on this beautiful day, there seemed no boundaries. Joy brought me into the light, yet my heart sought adventure.
I approached the edge of the field. I safely studied the dark forest. An owl called my name. Without thought I stepped onto a dark path. I marveled at the canopy and the coolness: this was a different world. The mystery beckoned my senses. As I explored the textures of the leaves, a worm waved a greeting. With an eye on the worm, a nearby crow called my name. Venturing forward on the path, a bright glow in the distance summoned me. I approached slowly, deliberately. The sunbeams flowed across an opening. Within its stage, the Lion lay. His majesty was remarkable: his gaze intent. He greeted me warmly. He requested my presence. I stood at the edge of the light-beams, intent on a hasty exit. My shy responses seemed to amuse him. He introduced me to his world. He shared his realm in a way that only his magnificent presence could know. Feared or revered, one would never mistake him for less than all that he was. His confidence was assured: his charm disarmed my fear. I found surprising comfort in his warmth and presence.
As the beams took their leave, the darkness encroached. Time passed quickly: I had no measure. A crescendo of cheers from within the darkness surrounding us interrupted the spell of his charm. I knew an immediate departure would be the only safe passage back to all I knew before him. Surprised by my abrupt parting, the Lion beseeched me, "Stay." My companion appeared amused. Acknowledging the darkness, he laughed at my concern.
He purred, “I must tell you, I have a magic stone in my throat. You must pluck it for yourself. It will assure you happiness forever and ever.” His disarming words caused my pause: I considered his majesty, his charm, his offer. In a flash, the urge for home won over his mesmerizing gaze. I could only offer him a faint, “No, thank you.” I swiftly turned down the path, never looking back.
Sitting on the porch, the heat of the summer seemed to melt my skin. No kind breeze would pass my way. The temptation of the canopy and the memory of the coolness, both brought me back to the wood. Crossing the field, the temptation urged me forward: caution begged me, “Stay.” The safety of the known lost to the wonder of my memory.
Exploring this new world, my curiosity could not be contained. At times, my feet flew down the path seeking the next new feeling, the next joy and the next experience. I met fascinating creatures along the way: deer, squirrels, birds. While they were oblivious to my journey, awe and admiration, their existence captivated my soul.
Time was fictional. My wandering grew further than my awareness. The sounds of water tripping over stones called my name. I followed her song, seeking her beauty. A curve in the path exposed a moment of her secrets. I paused, in bemusement and awe. There stretched upon her banks was the Lion. He seemed delighted by her gifts. Completely unaware of me, he seemed pleasured by her trickles and treasured her chill.
The snap of a twig under my foot revealed my secret. His gaze drew quickly to me. Swiftly by my side, he saluted my spirit. He escorted me from her song, from her existence. I sensed I was a secret he didn't care to share. As we walked along the path, he inquired about my world. While his interest seemed genuine, my witness conceived questions I dare not implore. Drawing me out, we laughed, danced, and walked along the path. He shared his secrets and sought mine. He seemed captivated by my presence. He impressed upon me that his world was better because I shared mine.
He placed a beautiful flower in my hair. He marveled an analogy. He placed me on his pedestal. He rained magnificence upon me. In the pinnacle of a moment, he spoke softly, “I have a magic stone in my throat. If you pluck it, you will have happiness forever and ever.” With the exhilaration of the view, I gazed upon his face. Softened by admiration, I considered his offer. In that moment, thunder in the distance drew my heed. It brought awareness to my circumstance: the enchantment, now broken. Falling from the pinnacle, stumbling down the path, I dashed, seeking distance. Returning to the safety of all I knew, I denied his unanswered proposal.
The joy of fall resembled spring. The colors of the trees painted with brilliant, rich hues. From the porch I watched as green turned to burgundy, gold and bronze. The breezes delighted me with their songs. Tickling the leaves, the wind coaxed them to drift, giggling as they found the ground.
Again the forest beckoned from afar. Its whispers I could not deny. As the pathway led me from the field, there seemed a different climate. The coolness caressed my face as the leaves sharply shared the pace of my step: the crunch and crackle was delightful. I danced and twirled down the path. Birds welcomed my presence. The painted leaves floated to the ground all around. A new pathway led me past stones larger than life. Their cool, hard exterior waiting to be explored by my hands. Cracks and crevasses made me question their history. If only they could whisper their truths.
The pathway led to an opening in the stones. I peered inside to find obscurity. The darkness filled my eyes. Some small light streamed from above, displaying a place of comfort, security and welcome. I cautiously moved forward. I discovered treasures and delights of the senses. As I was entertained by the bounty around me, the Lion appeared in the doorway. This was a place of his leisure. He welcomed me with a smile. His majesty still prevailed. His captivating presence disarmed any caution. He was happy to see me and shared his thoughts, his warmth. I grew comfortable with his presence. I was pleased with his company. We shared laughter, talking of days gone by and moments to come. We shared love in that moment, so sweet. The world seemed far away, never to interfere or threaten. As the day faded away, the Lion purred across my shoulder and whispered in my ear, “I have a magic stone in my throat. If you remove it, you will have happiness forever and ever.” I smiled at the repetition in his offer. The daylight began to fade: his face was distant and dark. The challenge of the woodsy navigation distracted my thoughts for the moment. I rose to leave. Smiling, I stroked his mane. I left without a word.
The darkness of winter had swept the field. The sites and scents were but a memory. The cold drove me indoors. Memories were my comfort as the fire crackled in the hearth. I stared at the dancing flames. I remembered moments of adventure, wonderment and passion. The blustery snowstorm surrounded my safe home. It howled at my insolence to its desire. A sharp knock on the door brought me to my feet. I crossed the floor: I opened the door. Lion was covered in snow. His eyes begged for escape. I invited him in: he sat by my fire. His face seemed worn in the light of the flames. I joined his side. He faced me with intent. “I have a magic stone in my throat. You are The Chosen One. You must remove it. In return, you will have happiness forever and ever.”
To be called “The Chosen One.” Tears filled my eyes. I nodded, assenting. Turning his face to the fire, the Lion opened his mouth. I peered inside. Unsure, unsteady, I saw only darkness. I leaned forward, tilting and stretching. I sought confirmation and clarity. From deep within, I saw a glow. Surprised with delight, I moved forward for a closer look. There, deep within the Lion, was a brilliant glow. Facets of light shone brightly as I stayed. Again his majesty mesmerized me. I reached deep within, seeking to grasp the happiness so promised me. With a sharp gasp, the Lion drew in a breath. He sucked out my heart. I fell back in stunned silence. The Lion turned and walked away, taking my heart and my happiness with him.
The darkness within held me captive for years. The world outside knew not my name. An empty shell, I stayed within the confines of all that seemed secure to me. Never let in anyone: Never share joy.
Then one day, the song of a little bird filled my room. The gentle tapping on the window drew me to his melody. I sat beside the sill, admiring his brilliant feathers, glowing in the sunshine. Continuing his song, he beckoned me out. Dancing and fluttering, he called my name. Without hesitation, my hand reached for the door. The warmth of the sun filled my room. The breeze welcomed me home. As I crossed the threshold, the darkness melted with the joy that surrounded me. I stepped onto the portico that had been my sanctuary so often before. I felt safe in my return. The bird circled my head, singing his song. He flew swiftly into the sunshine. “Come outside—I'm waiting in the light!” he implored me. I followed his voice: down the stairs, into the light. Once again, the colors of the rainbow fell on the field. The flowers danced with the breeze.
I allowed the light to again fill my soul. It occurred to me that the joy within should not be contained; happiness cannot be stolen, without permission; and living a life of laughter is the greatest gift to one’s self.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Lightning flashes and thunder rolls
as heartbeats rise and fall.
In the soul of the storm, the words swirl by
to awaken the senses and sharpen the mind
as what once was...is no more,
and what shall come to pass...is beckoning from beyond the door.
I sit and watch from high above the clouds
as the darkness creeps in from the outskirts of town.
It sneaks across the streets and buildings
to lay its wet sheets down,
to summon stillness and silence.
But to some
that stir and agitate
the vital fluid coursing through their veins
as if to say
now is when i strive to know
the existence of life
and live the
wicked thoughts of the untamed.
you are an inspiration
you make me think of things
that have not mattered
once i felt deeply
once i gave all
without asking for returns
i went to a place i had never been before
although there was need
there was no expectation
what was given
was done so
and then one day i was alone
left alone in this place i was taken
although this place was dark
i did not go back
to the place i began
although it was cold
i chose to stay
to find my way back
although it was lonely
there was shelter
and it was not unkind
it was familiar
there was not happiness
there was not feeling
sometimes i would hear voices growing closer
feel the heat of the light that came with them
i turned away
there was so bright a light
i could not escape it
i cannot run from it
though i cannot look to it
sometimes it fades
but it never goes away
sometimes it is so bright
that i feel my body burn
and i want to cry
this light has a key
this key will unlock the door
but to unlock the door is to feel
behind the door is freedom
freedom from expectation
and with expectation
will there be happiness
and if the expectation is too great
will there be sadness
i struggle with expectation
but the place i have been has taught me
and from it i learned need
where will the light take me
and will the light leave me there
and if the light cannot fulfill my need
where will i be
can i ever go back
to the place i began
i think not
for i cannot pay the price
for hope destroyed
not of food
but of joy
You say you so love me,
to honor me true
you build me a castle,
so I will love YOU.
Atop a pinnacle,
above the ocean, so blue,
the castle so spacious,
filled with everything but YOU.
The empty halls reflect the sounds of words,
spoken sweetly, and on cue,
offering remembrances of embraces,
mere deceptions, in the memories of YOU.
Deceptions, so unmerciful,
but not untrue.
Blown away are the smiles, like the sand in the wind,
reflections of the castle built by YOU.
I am returned to my splintered mind,
where removed from view.
As punctuation so ends each line,
so it ends with YOU.
Life is a box, full of treasures and truths
valued only to yourself by all you can prove.
If your box is full, happy you should be.
If your box is empty, your soul should you seek.
For the gifts of God are there for us all.
If your heart is not open, in your box they'll never fall.
I went for a walk in the woods. I met a Lion. He stood tall and walked proud: His aura was majestic. We talked of dreams and hopes. The Lion said to me, "I have a magic stone in my throat. If you reach inside and remove it, you will have happiness forever and ever." I thought of his offer, and said, "No, thank you."
After some time, I again walked in the woods. I met the Lion, still ever so captivating. We talked of things beloved to ourselves. We shared thoughts, desires and needs. We spoke of Love. Then the Lion said to me, "I have a magic stone in my throat. If you would reach inside and remove it, you will have happiness forever and ever." I considered his intentions and said, "No, thank you."
Much time passed, and I did not see the Lion. Then, one day, there was a knock on my door. The Lion said to me, "You are the Chosen One. you must remove the magic stone from my throat, then you will have happiness forever and ever." Such an honor to be called the Chosen One. He sought me out; thus, I knew I must remove the magic stone.
I reached inside the darkness. I looked deeper and deeper and saw a glow. The stone exuded a bright white light. It was mesmerizing. I needed to touch it but was afraid of its power. Just as I reached in to grasp it, the Lion drew a breath and sucked out my heart. I withdrew in stunned silence. Before I could speak, the Lion went away, taking with him my heart and my happiness, forever and ever.
One such epiphany is that growing up, our home was filled with music. My older sister always had the radio on. My folks sang in the church choir, sang duets, trios and quartets with other church members. Growing up, I was in chorus for four years. I have a rather old, but reasonably extensive music collection. I know that music has been a part of my life. In my teen years, Dad sang with a gospel group and later brother joined in on the bass guitar, even the Jew's harp and mandolin. Later in life, I found a certain romance with the karaoke thing. Bought a CDG player and have a large collection of the CDGs.
I remembered buying my last car--I didn't haggle with the dealer. I simply said-either there's a CD player installed in the trunk, or there's no deal. Easiest deal the guy probably made (of course after he tried to haggle...). I drove off with the cd player in the trunk without paying anything extra for it. That was probably eight years ago now...maybe nine. Time sure flies. About 2-1/2 years ago, the player stopped working. I spent a total sum of maybe 30 minutes trying to figure out why. The same CDs lived in the magazine for all that time too. I've pulled out the CDGs so few times I could probably count them on one hand. There was just no music in me...
In Excuses Begone, Wayne Dyer said, "Don't die with your music in you." Sure-on the surface I know what this means. But really...deep down...I didn't get it. What's "my music?"
So for about six weeks, I had a lot of restless nights, endless memories revisiting my mind, and at times, grueling thoughts that left me more frustrated to resolve the puzzle than when all this started.
Clearly this music brought about metamorphosis.
During these weeks...answers began to appear. The CD player in the car...my battery was replaced years ago. With it went the channel that transmitted the music. I now have DIFFERENT CDs in that magazine and they've even been changed a few times in the past 6 weeks. I replaced the sad worn-out MP3 player that only worked with a computer because the sound button didn't work with a new one. It's loaded with ALL my favorite songs from almost all my CD collection. I listen to it every day and feel OH so INSPIRED.
Now I'm a woman of faith. I believe that long ago God said "write" and I haven't listened. I've listened...I've just procrastinated. There's always something that has to be done--something that is "more important." Suddenly nothing else seems more important. There's no more time, but I'm starting to rethink priorities. This Blog, for instance, is my commitment to stop procrastinating. I can't promise that I'll do this every day. I can't promise that I'll post every story much less in its entirety.
This is my promise to write.
I thought that starting with some old "stuff" might be good. I hope it shows how much my mind has opened over the past couple decades. I won't say that number EXACTLY...just lotsa time. lol
THE LION has resurfaced during the epiphany phase and has been "rewritten." It's so much better, so much more. It was inspired by a man originally. At the time, I didn't know that. It wasn't an intentional writing. I was drying my hair getting ready for work and all of a sudden these thoughts rushed into my head. Call it muse, or divine intervention...I didn't actually sit down and compose this thing. It was literally dumped into my brain. As one who isn't now nor has ever been a morning person...my goal that morning was just to not be late. So while drying my hair frantically and with purpose...this story falls into my head and I say "not now...I don't have the time..." HA yeah right. It didn't stop...kept on coming. I finally HAD to stop, find pen and paper and write...just to make it stop. Took all of two minutes. Seriously...2 minutes.
I'm anxious and hope to get comments on the before and after. The before goes up quickly. I haven't "written" much after "stuff" and unfortunately I need to put in some hours that pay the bills, so I will have to procrastinate that just a wee bit... Hopefully it will be up before anybody even discovers this blog. If not, please come back ... and COMMENT. :) thanks for sharing.